let me just start off with apologizing for my summer hiatus.. my excuse? too much shit going on to sort it all out into words.. so you may be thinking “oh, shes blogging now, she mustve figured it out…” I WISH. seriously this is more like a last hope. its like i havent gotten a break lately. i dont even know. so here goes absolutely nothing.
for me, summer was alright but i had a lot of hidden inner pain and confusion. i feel like i spent most of the summer playing the desperate card as far as men go. i did the usual, and fucked up a lot. i made stupid decisions, that in the end, just caused me excruciating pain and guilt. so that was fun. if i have one piece of advice (at the moment) its definitely dont “hook up” with a guy with a girlfriend. you just end up feeling like an ass and you look pathetic. ((hey at least im accountable?)) i need to learn from my mistakes.. and i hope others can too because it seems like ive been paving a pretty clear path.
coming back to school seemed like it would be a relief… but its been less than easy. i held onto the same “fling” all summer long. i had WAY too high of hopes that it would be fairytale like coming back… and it sort of was for like two days (err nights…). tonight, i can honestly say, i feel scared and lost. it seems to be that i always want what i cant have.. he’s just a little bit too far out of reach.. or maybe were just on two different planets. but we will see i guess. i cant even begin to sort this one so for now, ill just say, coming soon. “what will be, will be” right?
finally, i just need to freak out about my horoscope… as a cancer, i feel as if i have never read a bad horoscope.. and yesterday and todays, as freaky accurate as they are, pertaining to my current situation, are NO exception… feast your eyes :)
TUESDAY, SEPT 3, 2013
You may be confused by your heart, Cancer. It may be extremely frustrating when you can’t keep a tight rein on your emotions. This internal conflict is a signal that there’s a lesson to learn. Perhaps your heart knows something that your conscious mind hasn’t yet realized.
WEDNESDAY, SEPT 4, 2013
There’s a chance that incredible luck will befall you, Cancer, but nothing will come without hard work on your part. Don’t expect someone else to hand you the treasure chest. You have the map in your hand, so follow it. Once you start, you may realize that you’re much closer than you think. It’s up to you to make the journey. There’s a great deal of help for you along the way.